Human Boundary #1 - Anger

     Do you ever get angry? Lose your temper? Is not anger a natural emotion of mankind? Don't we all lose our temper and get angry at one time or another? So if it happens to all of us what is the big deal? Shouldn't we be allowed to act out on those natural feelings we have? Good question? Is there a good answer? 

     Well, yes, there is usually a good answer for everything at some point. But talking about boundaries upon our "human nature",  shouldn't anger have boundaries as well? Just like the other nature boundaries we talked about, does anger have consequences, just as fire, water, and wind did when they stepped out of their boundaries? Think about it. If you have ever gotten really angry and acted out on that anger, what were the results or the consequences of your acting out? Okay, I can't say for you, but I can say for myself what some of the consequences were. And we can all look around at the world and see what the consequences are of many people who allow their anger to leave the boundaries of self-control. So what are some consequences of stepping out of the boundaries of anger control? 

     Yelling, screaming, ranting and raving may seem to be the milder issues, but if anyone else is involved in our tirade they are affected, especially if our onslaught is directed at them. How many  parents, spouses, children, siblings, friends, co-workers, etc., have had to listen to angry rantings and ravings? And how many of them take all that anger into their hearts and souls and come to the conclusion that they are to blame and they are just as worthless as the words you yelled out!!! How many times do those victims of rants end up hurting themselves because they truly feel worthless because of your angry words. Words CAN and DO hurt and most of the time more deeply than a physical assault does. Because words cut deeper into the soul and take tons more effort to heal.  

     But physical assault can be another consequence of not staying within the boundaries of self-control in our anger!  Usually the physical injury heals faster, BUT it is accompanied by the emotional destruction as well. Physical assault on property as well. Anyone who has kicked holes in doors and walls or put a fist through a table can vouch for the destruction of those actions. Some who jump the boandries of anger control have set fire to buildings which have sometimes even taken lives. And there are those who in anger do go so far as to torture or take another life.

     And this does not even account for the feelings of the person who lost control and later realizes the damage that has been done by his lack of self-control. Anger happens to all of us as some time or another and in varying degrees. For some it is an easier boundary to control, for others, especially those born with a quick anger trigger, it is harder. I was born with a somewhat quick temper and remember losing it so easily growing up. Then I would beat myself up emotionally for losing my temper. It was a constant round for many years, How does one learn to control that temper? Step by step, focusing on what is truly most important, physical activity that gets your energy out in a constructive way,  having someone to turn to who can listen and help, knowing your limitations and when you need to pull out of a situation that you know can turn your dial, and so on. There are many ways to teach ourselves how to stay within the anger control boundaries, but first and foremost we have to want to. All things have to start with a desire and then step by step evaluate yourself, learn what pushes your buttons, learn to walk away, learn what can calm you down and just keep going step by step. If you blow it forgive yourself and start over. Eventually, as in all efforts in life, you will see improvement and finally you will remain in that boundary of self-control.

     Like I said earlier, I had a horrible temper, but through the years I have been able to learn to control it and in all reality it does take a lot for me to lose it nowadays. I still get frustrated and upset, but to blow my cork and lose my cool, I haven't had that happen in a long time. And you know what one of the best feelings is? Knowing you are in control of yourself and your actions!!! Knowing that your actions have not caused another person to feel horrible. Knowing you are not destroying another life or property by your actions. Yes, some of the good consequences of  staying within the boundaries of self-control where anger is concerned are also peace and self-respect and the self-control itself that you have worked hard to earn!!!